Wednesday 4 August 2021

Your Midweek Update for 08/04/21

How the fuck is it already August?

This year has just flown by and I really am not enjoying my time. God, so much has happened in the last seven months, but I don’t think I could name a single thing.

Oh wait, my daughter got kidnapped by her birth mother, and my sister killed her and is now on the run. Right. Totally forgot about that.

That isn’t sarcasm, by the way. In this moment, I genuinely forgot that happened. Supposedly bad short-term memory is tied to poor sleep which… I’ve got tons of that. Or maybe it’s just that so many things happen in my life and they all blur together. The passage of time is not even and it’s very annoying. For example, this pandemic has not been going on for eighteen months. It’s been eighteen years and I know longer remember what my life was like without a mask on.

On the upside, I only have to worry about obscuring half of my face on security cameras – and if I wear sunglasses or a hat, I can do whatever the hell I want.

At least that’s the mentality I’ve taken with the mask restrictions. I don’t know that it’s laid out there in the bylaws that so long as I where a mask, I can sever someone’s carotid artery by giving them a papercut and slowly opening the wound.

But it doesn’t say I can’t do that so I’m taking it as permission.

I don’t know how to explain it, by papercuts make me so squeamish. I felt so bad for that person (I really need to use more inclusive language and not assume the gender of my victims. I promise, I’m working on it). They’re just so uncomfortable. I think I once tortured someone by giving them papercuts between their toes. I almost got nauseous.

But cleaning out the hot, rotted storage unit filled with actual vomit and decaying flesh was no problem for me. Explain that.

The human body will forever astound me. If you think about it, I’m really just a hands-on scientist. Who doesn’t want the attention for my work. And doesn’t really care about human beings. And takes a significant amount of pleasure in my work – enough to call myself an expert despite a lack of peer review.

So exactly like a scientist.

As always, dear readers,

Stay Safe

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