Wednesday 29 May 2019

Your Mid-Week Update for 05/29/19

You will never guess what happened to me on Saturday.

Well, you may be able to guess but I’m just going to tell you, otherwise we could be here all day.

We were staying in a motel just off the highway, minding our own business. I had just decapitated a hitchhiker and left their body miles into the woods so I was good to go.

But then, we hear voices coming from down the hall early Saturday morning. Screams and a scuffle and shattering glass. We watch from the window as a shadowy figure exits the room moments before a concerned neighbour looks in and discovers the body of a young woman. She was stabbed to death after what appears to have been a quick but violent struggle.

And then the police came. Of course, we were booked through the weekend so we stayed, claimed to be asleep and awoke with the sound of crashing. Nothing about the mysterious assailant. Why offer any more than absolutely necessary? They spent the next few hours talking to all of us and processing the scene before leaving a tapped off room and some very distraught neighbours. Well, we were so shaken by the event that we had to leave without paying the full price of our stay. The night clerk understood and we left Saturday night with no real plan of where to go next.

We camped out in the woods for a few nights which allowed for some choice hunting. And now we’re settled in a motel near the water. It’s actually quite soothing. It almost makes me forget how close we were to losing everything back there.

What a coincidence that of all the motels, there is a murderer and a murder in one place with no connection at all. Seems unlikely. This feels like a warning. Or a message. Or something. Too close to someone finding us. Finding out the truth. I have to know who did this. I have to know if my family is in more danger. That’s why we haven’t travelled further. We’ll stay near the water until I find out who else is after my family.

There’s also…

Casey. She’s been on this nightmare with us and I never really asked her if that’s what she wanted. I knew I couldn’t leave her at the house so bringing her along made the most sense at the time but now this poor girl is being dragged all over the country and being forced to endure things I never intended to reveal to her.

She didn’t ask for this. But I can’t let her go.

She’s trapped.

It’s been weighing on my mind. When this is all over, I don’t know what she’ll do.

I could ask her to stay and keep our secrets. I could kill her to be sure and risk James never speaking to me again. I think I have to talk to her; understand how she’s feeling about all this. Convince her that family doesn’t betray each other.

Charlotte never understood that. Now look at her. A pile of skin and bones, handcuffed to a radiator, being fed scraps by a monster who deigns to let her live until it’s no longer convenient.

I will find the perfect revenge for her. I will convince Casey to be a part of this family. I will figure out who the murderer is. I will free Jason. And I will get us all back to normal.

No matter what it takes.

Because that’s what’s necessary for my family to survive.

As always, dear readers,

Stay Safe

Wednesday 22 May 2019

Your Mid-Week Update for 05/22/19

I haven't much to report this week, dear readers. I fear I've fallen into a familiar pattern of killing for relief and barely clinging to what family I have left. I don't sleep. I barely eat. I kill and I travel. No rest for the wicked.

I dreaded this day. When my life would become more about avoiding capture than actually living. My kills quickly lose meaning when they are continually rushed. I'm careful not to always stop on our route - whatever route it is. We're long past having a plan and now we're just driving.

As I said: running rather than living.

I hate it.

I hate that the one thing that truly brought me joy is now the only thing that drives me. I hate not knowing what's happening to Jason or what I can do to help him. But most of all I hate that Charlotte Westburn is still alive.

The Westburns have destroyed my family. They took my daughter. They're trying to take my son. They're trying to steal my life. And there's nothing I can do to stop them without putting what family I have left in danger.

Who am I kidding? I put them in danger the day I slit that jock's throat when I was 17. I can't not give in to my desires. My needs. And I'm not a deranged killer who can't make a home. Make a life. I deserve the life I made. And they

And she is stealing it from me.

I've kept her alive this long - brought her on our travels - because I thought she could be of some use to me. But perhaps the best thing Charlotte could do for me is die so that I may live. So that I can get my family back.

I feel a plan forming, dear readers.

I plan that means it's time for me to return home. And make things right.

As always, dear readers,

Stay Safe

Wednesday 15 May 2019

Your Mid-Week Update for 05/15/19

It has now been over a month since we abandoned Jason for a crime he didn't commit. The news cycle has forgotten our part in it all but I know the police have not. I'm still too afraid to ask what it is they want from me but I know they want me. I should have asked my sister. Then I could make a plan to end all of this. So instead I run. And I kill. 

I held off for a month but I have a lot of pent up emotions and they have to be released some way. So I kill.

The best thing about being a killer without a signature is that I am beholden to no one. No limitations. Anyone can die. Any place. Any way I please. 

And it pleases me to go to a motel off the highway, talk my way into a stranger's room, and slash the couple's throats who would dare to trust me. It felt wonderful to feel the reverberation of the blade as it broke their skin. The tingling sensation that spread through my fingers. The betrayal in the eyes as they released they do, in fact, live among monsters and their fate is inescapable. It didn't make me feel entirely better but watching them struggle for air as their blood stained the carpet gave me a sense of relief. Like a breath I've been holding for a month. One gasp of air isn't enough to satiate but it is something. 

As soon as it was over, I was back to worrying and anger but for those twenty minutes as they pled for their lives, grasping at my feet, I was back to the way things were before. 

I will get it back.

Even if I have to kill everyone between me and my son to get there.

As always, dear readers,

Stay Safe

Wednesday 8 May 2019

Your Mid-Week Update 05/08/19

I almost forgot to write this update to you. Days are kind of blurring together. I think this is the 7th motel we've been in since we left. Every one kind of looks the same and it just keeps getting colder. I thought it was supposed to be spring. I guess some parts of the world didn't get the memo.

We've officially hit international news (granted on a fairly infrequent reporting cycle). Three persons wanted for questioning in relation to the assassination of the politician. No mention of anything they found in the house or of Jason.

He's out on bail, by the way. My father posted it a few days after his arraignment. My sister called to say he was staying with her as he was not allowed to leave the city. I haven't been able to find what evidence they have on him from where I am. Trapped. Helpless. But I do know that it wasn't enough to outright charge him with homicide. He's been charged with voluntary manslaughter - which is likely what I would have been charged with if I had been arrested for this particular crime. But I wasn't arrested. My son was. Because of Charlotte.

She's still alive, by the way. She isn't resisting as often but she's still tied up in whatever trunk or dark and musty room we need to stick her in. I can't think of what to do to her. Nothing I can imagine seems enough for what she's done to my family. We could be separated forever. My son could go to prison. I could never be able to come home. At some point, we will run out of cash. We may have to hit up a bank soon. Let's just add robbery to our long list of sins.

My one consolation is that Jason is safe for the time being. My sister told me his trial is set for May 27th and my parents have hired a good lawyer. She's worried but she's trying to hide it. I, on the other hand, have no reason to hide. Who am I going to hide it from? My husband, who is also frightened for where our lives may lead us next? Thank god he's with me. I could not do this alone. The woman who framed my son for murder? The only thing I'm hiding from her is how much I want to kill her - and I'm not doing it well. Casey, the scared and confused girl who needs to know she's not alone and that we'll all as scared and confused as she is? Perhaps I should be keeping it together for her but there are far more motivators for freaking the fuck out so the fact that I'm not curled in a ball and crying, or dismembering Charlotte piece by piece is a miracle.

Honestly, thank god for my family. They are protecting my loved ones when I can't be there and they're keeping me up to date. I need to find a safe way back to him. So I can save him. Or stop this madness somehow. I don't know yet.

I just

I hate this situation and I hate that I can't do anything about it.

Dear readers, I am lost. Physically and emotionally. Any ideas about how to make this all go away?

I thought not.

As always, dear readers,

Stay Safe

Wednesday 1 May 2019

Your Mid-Week Update for 05/01/19

On Wednesday May 27th 1998, a son was born. 7lbs, 2oz. and a head full of hair. He didn't stop crying for four days. The doctors thought there might be something wrong with him. Test after test. So many needles. His feet were covered in them. But there was nothing wrong. Yet he kept crying. And then his sister, not even two years old, grabbed his hand. And the crying stopped. He stared into her eyes and it was love.

He doted on his sister. From that day forward; he followed her, trusted her, protected her. The day she died he was changed forever. He had no one to love or trust. Nothing I did could help. But I tried to make sure he wasn't alone.

And now he is.

I don't know how to protect him.

I feel so helpless sitting in a motel room so many miles away. It's snowing here. It's freezing and icy and we're trapped here until the snow melts. If the police catch up to us, we're sitting ducks. But I can't think about that because he's all alone.

Jason has never connected with me or loved me the way his sister did but he is my son and I will not stop until he is free. I just wish I knew how.

Nothing's changed. Nothing's new. I'm just helpless. Hopeless.

As always, dear readers,

Stay Safe