Your Mid-Week Update for 10/03/18

And suddenly it’s winter.

I swear, this town doesn’t have four seasons, it only has two and I can never seem to be happy with either. Sure, I can use the awful weather to my advantage but daily life is a struggle when you’re wearing shorts and a tank top one day and a parka the next.

I sometimes wish I could move somewhere where the weather is a little more consistent. I’d have a much more esthetically pleasing wardrobe, the headaches would be gone, I wouldn’t be complaining about it now.

I’d be complaining about something else but not the weather.

I complain about this every season but here’s why I think we all do this. It’s one of the few things that people in a city have in common with each other. It’s something that can bring people together: bitching about the same things over and over.

Routines are a part of humanity, I’ve come to notice. Traditions are connective and comforting. They also are predictable to a point where someone could, say, stalk you for a few days, learn your routine and use it to kill you.

For example.

I didn’t even go into work yesterday because of the fucking snow. But, of course, we still had to work from home. God forbid, you actually get some time away from work.

I will NOT get into a rant about western culture’s misunderstanding of human decency and what’s important in life. It’s too cold for that.

The heat feels like it’s out – I know it’s not – but it’s absolutely freezing. Like, gloves indoors levels of cold. I’m over it. I just want to kill the people and drive safely home to a warm house. Is that too much to ask for?

That’s all. Be warm. Stick to your routines because it makes things easier for me. Stop fucking snowing!

As always, dear readers,

Stay Safe

Your Mid-Week Update for 10/04/17

Ah the first fall of snow. It's cold, slushy, and perfect for body disposal. The body may be eventually found but all of that mush and snow destroys crime scene evidence. It's more than never getting caught, it's knowing that they are so close and will never get there. Now once winter properly hits, it presents its own challenges but that first snow makes me feel like a kid again: I just want to play.

The first snow fall also makes finding victims easier. People forget how to drive for a few hours that morning. I thought I would be more frustrated with them but it’s tradition now. People who had the foresight to get their tires changed before the first snow are possible more annoying. I would make an appointment to get my tires changed except the rest of the week calls for sunny skies and warm weather. Is it worth it? You’d think these minor daily problems wouldn’t plague me but those are the things that should get to you; the things you can change. Let it bother you for a little bit, then fix it and move on. That’s how I handle laundry, at least.

Yesterday I drove past one of those chain mechanic shops and followed one of their customers home. I garroted him what turned out to be a few blocks from his house. Tragic. The news attributed it to gang violence which is apparently a problem in that area.

I really need to thank the gangs of this city and area. They get blamed for so much of my shit. I should send them a basket. What do gangs like? Fruit? Guns? Do you think they’re muffin people? Where would I even leave it?

Questions that will plague me until I find a solution.

Do I have any gang-affiliated readers? Let me know; I’ll order an Edible Arrangement.

As always, dear readers,

Stay Safe

Your Mid-Week Update for 09/21/16

Have you ever had a moment of sudden clarity? You spend your life doing something so menial and then suddenly you feel more aware of what you’re doing and why.

There is a washroom at work that has two stalls. I’ve been with this company for…too long, and it occurred to me yesterday that I’ve only ever used one stall. I have no idea what the other stall looks like. For all I know, it’s covered in shit and graffiti; or maybe it’s fitted with the latest robotic toilets that play music and wipe your ass for you. I may never know.

It’s such a trivial thing to think about but I’m choosing to take it as a sign of a larger problem. A problem that seems to be almost annual in my life.

I’m in a rut.

Not a murderous rut this time, I’m feeling quite good about that aspect of my life. I did some beautiful tapestry work with a blank canvas and an old-fashioned axe. I may sell it. See if it’s worth anything. Anonymously of course. Although the money would be nice. Besides, who would care how the art was created? Don’t those new-age types only care about how the art makes them feel?

Anyways, I’m not talking about that kind of rut this time. I’m in a career rut.

I’ve been working in the same field for 15 years and I’ve been with the same company for most of that time. I enjoy the luxury of my position and honestly there’s no point in changing it now; I’m just feeling unsatisfied.

Perhaps a little dissatisfaction is good. If I got my way every time I’d never have an excuse to kill.

And what kind of world would that be?

Just something to think about this week.

As always, dear readers,

Stay Safe