Your Mid-Week Update for 07/04/18

I may have to move up the timeline with Mary. We’ve been friends for several months, she’s met James, I’ve met most of her conquests and we’ve been on several outings that would absolutely pass the Bechdel test. And then she tells me that she wants to move away. “Make a fresh start.” What bullshit. She is running away from her problems because she can’t find a descent relationship to save her.

And in this case it might have actually saved her life.

Let me be clear, I am not slut shaming. She can sleep with whoever she wants; but she is not handling it in a mature, professional manner. Granted, neither am I. But that’s not what we’re talking about.

We’re talking about I have to kill Mary months earlier than I wanted to because I waited this long and if she moves away, I will miss out on a great kill. The look of betrayal on her face is going to be amazing.

It just sucks when things don’t work out exactly the way I wanted them to. Why is the universe not in sync with my personal desires? Yes, that was sarcasm. Some days it’s all I have left.

That’s the big news this week: someone is going to die a lot sooner than they were meant to. Which, if you’ve read this blog more than once, you know is a daily occurrence.

Although, do any of my victims die before they’re meant to or am I enacting some self-fulfilling prophecy in which they were always supposed to die by my hand?

It’s questions like these that remind me why I should be in bed instead of getting up early for work. The beauty of someone in my high-ranking position is that I can, occasionally, change my work hours to suit my needs. This month, I decided I wanted to leave earlier to avoid summer traffic. Tourists. Good for killing, bad for my patience. Of course, in order to leave early, I need to start earlier.

I’m going to be cranky for a little while.

As always, dear readers,

Stay Safe

Your Mid-Week Update for 05/24/17

It’s finally summer and I’m loving it. I love the cool breezes, the warm sun, the endless construction zones in which I can hide bodies. I don’t often bury my victims because I like hearing about the discovery and investigation right away. I need to know what areas I need to improve on. Plus I hate surprises – for obvious reasons – and there’s less control when you hide something in a public place.

The only exception is construction zones and wet cement. I learned in my 20s how to operate a lot of the onsite equipment and it does come in handy. I’d like to think that hundreds of years later, they’ll find hundreds of bodies buried under the city and have no idea where to begin.

Summer also means vacation time. James and I haven’t gone away in what feel like forever and we’re absolutely due for a break. I’m going to talk to him tonight about renting a cabin or going out to the beach. Just getting away for the weekend will do us some good. With all that’s been going on lately we haven’t had the easiest time. Not that we aren’t having sex. There’s just…a block. I can’t describe it. But now that the weather is nice, I think some fresh air will do us good.

I hope you are all enjoying the sun. And have a productive week.

As always, dear readers,

Stay Safe

Monday Fables #13: Summer Wind

How ridiculously appropriate for Christmas Eve: Summer. It is Christmas Eve and I hope those who celebrate are spending the day wisely. I, myself are posting this and then heading out to volunteer as an elf at a local hospital before heading home for some last minute wrapping and family time. And even if you don't celebrate the holiday, it's a monday and the world is sort of taking a breather so enjoy the moment.