Wednesday 4 March 2020

Your Mid-Week Update for 03/04/20

This week has been disappointing to say the least. James’ rehabilitation is not going well. His knee is giving him a lot of pain and work may be paying for the meds, but they’re not helping as much as they should.

I got a phone call from Casey’s administration. Seems she skipped school last week. I asked her about it and she told me she would rather go out “hunting” than read Macbeth. I don’t blame her for that but we had a long talk about the importance of staying under the radar. She was up all night catching up on her missed assignments.

And on top of that, the guy vomited up the glitter glue so it was all a waste. I really wanted to see if his stomach contents would become glittery and whether the morgue would have to bring in a specialist to clean up the glitter guts. Instead, he just puked it back up and I had to strangle him to death.


I used to love a good throttling – still do – but when you’re expecting glitter guts and you just get some burst blood vessels in the eyes, it’s not the same.

It was all over the news, though: the glittery death of an ice cream vendor. There was still glitter all over the crime scene and the media picked it up as the potential beginnings of some very specific serial killer. Apparently they’re going to be bringing in a profiler from the FBI to determine what kind of madman they’re looking for.

I’ll be interested to hear their analysis.

I’ve been profiled a few times over the years. None of them have gotten it right – obviously. Some of them pin down a troubled home life, or a penchant for cruelty towards animals, or someone who takes pleasure in their work.

Only one profiler has ever said I was a woman. They were nearly laughed out of the press conference. I sent them a gift basket with some fruit jellies and a box of rat poison. I haven’t heard from them since.

It’s always interesting to see what other people think of you – to get that outside perspective. And then you can do with that information what you will. Sometimes, I play into their assumptions just to mess with them. Sometimes I use it as a warning that I’m being too obvious and it’s time to back off. It depends on what’s needed at the time.

That is half of my job: understanding what needs to be done right now. Always adjusting to the situation and never being so set in my ways that I become predictable.

The best serial killers in the world are the ones who understand how to read people and read the situation. The ones who can manipulate the system.

“It couldn’t be him; he was always so nice.”

It doesn’t really matter how your life is going if you can keep people believing that everything is all right.

As always, dear readers,

Stay Safe

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