Wednesday 21 April 2021

Your Midweek Update for 04/21/21

There was a time when all I had to worry about was who to kill next. I would kiss my husband goodbye on my way to work, do my job, murder some idiot on the freeway, come home to a house full of slightly manic children, go to bed, wake up, and do it all again. Sure, there were PTA meetings, and work functions, and that time the neigbours invited us to swing with them, but it was a quiet life. It was peaceful and normal and everyone was happy.

I liked my life. Things were uncomplicated. I was a serial murderer who took pleasure in dismembering and dissolving bodies, and didn’t bat an eye when it came to destroying anyone who threatened my secret. I loved my life.

But Sandra is gone. Jason is gone. Charlotte is gone. Heather is gone. Casey is still missing.

I wasn’t meant to love anyone and now, I’ve lost them.

Is the solution for the way I feel to stop loving at all?

I called my sister. Since she’s been on parole, she’s a lot easier to find. I called her and asked if I could come over. I haven’t been to her new place – I haven’t spoken to her in a year – so I had no idea what to expect. My relationship with my sister has never been easy. I never made a secret of my disapproval of what she did and I was quick to exploit her imprisonment for my own gain. She is also the only person who knows what it was like to grown up in that house, with a mother who would sell out her own children for clout. We have always looked out for each other in our own way – protected one another so we could continue our little war. She is simultaneously the closest person in my life (besides my husband) and the person who can most endanger my way of life. Calling her to help me find Casey was a last resort.

But she said ‘yes’.

I finally got to see her knew apartment. It was small and unassuming. It had no personality, no discerning features, or anything that gave away the type of person who lived there. It was exactly what I expected. Unlike me, my sister prefers to disappear. She was always really good at technology and she used that skill to hide herself – and me – from the world. She wanted to be the person no one suspected because they didn’t remember her. Thinking back on the life she led – on the connections she has left – I think she’ll get her wish someday.

I don’t like relying on others, for obvious reasons. The more people you trust, the more people who can hurt you. But I’m trusting my sister now. Together, we’re going to bring my little girl home.

All week, I’ve been knocking on doors, driving around the neighbourhood, getting the lay of the land. Most neighbours have been sympathetic, happy to tell me that they didn’t see anything that night. But someone did. Someone called 9-1-1 and said they heard a struggle. Someone heard a struggle and didn’t try to help. And now? They’re lying to my face about it.

I knew neighbours were meant to be shitty people but this is low.

Or maybe it wasn’t any of the neighbours. Maybe it was whoever took Casey, wanting to expose us by sending the police. If the investigators hadn’t been convinced that they only needed to search the main floor, they would have found blood stains or hair or something that would have turned the investigation away from finding my daughter.

I wish I could get a hold of that recording. Maybe this one time, I can work with the police. If I can hear the caller’s voice, maybe I can figure out if one of my neighbours deserves to die.

The rest of my time has been spent driving around the area looking for cameras. Unfortunately, we chose this neighbourhood for its lack of surveillance and red-light cameras. This place was meant to be a safe haven where the most dangerous thing was me. But if I can find one camera, one witness, something, anything to tell me what the hell is going on and why someone took Casey.

I just want her back.

I just want my life back.

As always, dear readers,

Stay Safe

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