Wednesday 11 November 2020

Your Mid-Week Update for 11/11/20

 I love what I do.

I don’t know if that’s ever been made clear by…the very existence of this blog…but I have found something that brings me genuine joy in life. Not many people can say that. I know I’m lucky and I also know that in order to maintain the lifestyle that allows me to do what I love, I must make certain concessions.

That was one of the things I always knew. The day I shoved that cleat into the back of the Homecoming King’s skull, I knew that there would be sacrifices. After all: one cannot live on murder alone. I would need a life to lay over my passions to could cover any trace of wrong doing.

And for over 20 years, I have more of less been able to do that. Sure, the police have come close or some crazed maniac has decided to take the law into his own hands. Last summer seems like a lifetime ago but even then, I kept my secret and my family safe and I was able to start over. I have slaughtered and buried and conned every single person who came after me – who threatened my way of life.

I’m not about to let some stupid job ruin me.

I need this job. I was a temp before the pandemic because starting over meant completely restarting my career (and then the world imploded). I am more than qualified but this year has been a shit show in so many ways that I couldn’t get anything to stick.

But I finally got a job that was a strong as my old one at covering my lies. No one will look at me twice, no one will think of me once they walk out the door, I am more than qualified and I have a husband who works miracles with a police background check.

The problem is: I want to murder every single one of my colleagues. Every single one of them. That’s a lie: the janitor was very kind and patient and has been working extremely hard through this whole ordeal.

It’s all the people I have to see in the daylight and convince myself not to bludgeon with their little desk placard. It’d be a personalized murder, how fun!

I need this. I can work at a bank, I can work with the customers, I can refrain from killing the people I work with – more than I already have in the past…because I have killed quite a few of my colleagues over the years. Maybe that’s why people were always getting close. Huh.

I will refrain from killing them for now but if Kim tells me one more story about her sister’s dog, I am going to staple her lungs together, inflate them into a balloon and send her body parts flying into the air like their own little dirigible.

I am over this shit.

As always, dear readers,

Stay Safe

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