Wednesday 6 November 2019

Your Mid-Week Update for 11/06/19

Sometimes I have dreams of being a more creative killer. The kind corporate Hollywood makes movies about to appear edgy. The type of person who creates elaborate contraptions and traps to make the most gruesome deaths possible.

It’s less about regret that I’m not a more imaginative murderer, it’s more of an intellectual experiment to see how far I can take it before I have to remind myself that I have a life outside of murder. And bills to pay on top of that. And where on earth would you buy half of that equipment without appearing on a list?

What I occasionally lack in creativity, I make up for in longevity and I am perfectly fine with that.

Though, I realize that my constant boasts about being one of the longest active serial killers in the world may seem a bit of an excuse for a lack of consistency. And you may be right. I’m very proud of my accomplishments but upon reflection and preparation for teaching, I’ve come to realize that there may be some gaps in my resume.

While I’ll never act on my desire to build Rube Goldberg bear trap head gear, I can still ponder the areas of my life that I haven’t really explored. Like creating an entire room that appears to be outside but is really filled with hallucinogenic gas that tricks my victims into believing they’ve escaped, only to continue running in place until they starve to death. They’re running in place because they’re changed to the floor only they don’t realize it because they’ve been drugged.

So I’m not the best at these thought experiments. It’s not my area of expertise. I prefer to exploit people and not objects. They are much easier to manipulate. If you can understand how a person might instinctually behave in a fight, flight, freeze or fawn type of scenario, then you can control the narrative they’re living until they’re easy to kill.

People, individually, are quite trusting. They want to believe in the best of humanity so they force their guard down until the situation presents another way – even if there’s a signal going off in their brain that means danger. They might still be on alert but they won’t start their day believing that everyone is out to kill them. They will wave to the man across the street to gauge this threat level. They’ll keep responding to the stranger at the bar until they can prove that their instincts are true. Because no matter what their instincts are telling them, they want to believe in good.

And there are people like me who exploit that desire for their own gain.

That in and of itself, understanding people at a fundamental level, is a skill that most don’t possess and not one easily taught. But I am endeavoring to teach Casey had to read people. Know whether they will run away, they’ll try to dominate, they’ll lose control, or they’ll try to appeal to that belief in the goodness of the world. Whatever they do, we must be ready.

Because we have those same instincts as well. We might be faced with a conflict and try to resolve it any number of ways. But that conflict – that victim – can never get the better of us.

So above all, we must know ourselves, in order to exploit others.

And that skill takes time. That skill is honed over years of study. That skill is useful in more ways than just murder. So while I occasionally dream up fanciful kills with no desire for follow through, I am very grateful for the methods I use.

I can only hope that Casey will gain those same skills in time.

As always, dear readers,

Stay Safe

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