Wednesday 3 July 2019

Your Mid-Week Update for 07/03/19

There still is no word from Jason. We also haven’t been caught by the police. So there’s that.

Charlotte, however, is very dead.

It isn’t enough. What I did to her. I couldn’t. I had a plan. And I carried it out. So she’s dead and the initial investigators think it’s a suicide. I stood as a frightened witness as they surveyed the crime scene just to make sure. I know it was a risk to show my face so close to a group of people who want to arrest me but I had to make sure that this would be over.

They’ll go to her house next. They should have done it by now. And they’ll have found all the evidence they need to draw the conclusion I need them to. Now I’m still waiting for it to go back to normal.

Of course with Charlotte’s death also comes one conclusion: I’m done with murder. I said this would be the last and if this is how I keep my family safe, this is how I do it.

I’m going to miss it. The satisfaction of hearing bones pop out of their place. The taste of blood under my fingernails. The look in their eyes as the lights finally dim. The horror. The peace. The sad acceptance. Taking control like that. Flexing my creative muscles. It’s so intoxicating.

I’ll have to find something else to fill the void. Something that requires less secrecy. Although that was fun, too. God, I’ve been two people for so long, I can’t even imagine going back to one.

What do you even do with all that free time and energy? Have couple’s dates? Do pottery? Get a timeshare? What is that?

Actually James and I have a timeshare in Florida and it’s a really good way to vacation for cheap.

Maybe we’ll vacation more. Or maybe it’s dangerous to travel so much when you were so recently under suspicion of murder. I’ve so rarely been accused of my own crimes. I suppose I won’t have to be so cautious anymore. I’ll still have to sleep with one eye open for many years for fear of revenge murderers. I killed many people and presumably at least one of them had an unstable relative who won’t rest until their killer is caught.

Aww. So many people will never get to rest and will die unfulfilled. That’s so sad.

But that also means I get to live which I really appreciate.

I’m just feeling really mixed about not killing people anymore. I need my son back. Having that reminder of why I’m quitting will help everything. I wish I knew where he was. I need him back.

As always, dear readers,

Stay Safe

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