Monday 19 August 2013

The second coming of the dreaded resolutions

Summer is coming to a close which means it's time to start thinking about all those gross, awful things that come with September like school and change and *cringe* responsibility.

Okay I'm exaggerating...mostly... but this is about those little steps you take to growing up. I'm the girl that likes to make grand plans that make a lot of sense on paper. Unfortunately we don't live our lives on paper.

The real world sucks. That's not news, nor is it something I leaned recently. But especially around this time of year when it's about turning over a new leaf and making a fresh start, it's very easy to make those big plans that usually fall through or I can't follow through on. And this is one of those times; I'll probably continue to make grand plans until I'm in a retirement home.

So I make do.

I create little plans to go with those big plans and figure it out as I go. That's as far as I've come.

I was looking through some past posts and I found these two. My initial New Years Resolution 2013 and my Bucket List. Both of these are about big, grand plans and not about how to get there. The end of summer is also when I remember that there is no roadmap to life; you can't always stop and ask for directions and sometimes when you get scared there isn't always a safe place to pull over so you have to drive through the night.

Metaphors aside, what I'm trying to say is: I have no idea what I'm doing. And sometimes I feel disconnected in a world that is all about connecting.

Sometimes all you have are the big, grand plans. Plans to be bigger, faster, stronger, better, and 9/10 times there is no map to the stars.

You know, this post was originally supposed to be about my new short story series starting in September but I started thinking about all the things that are changing and will continue to change. The truth is I'm scared and I'm hoping that I'm not alone.

And I'm starting to think...maybe those big, grand plans don't need roadmaps more than they need someone in the passenger seat...

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