How in the fuck is it already Wednesday. Time has been blurring together more than normal and it’s making me feel… anxious? Like, I’m losing hours and I’m not keeping track of the days and what if I’m missing something really important? What if I’m forgetting something that could change my life? The last few weeks have gone so quickly and I don’t really remember some of it and I’ve just been so tired lately.
My
immediate thought is that I’ve been sleep walking – sleep murdering if we’re
going to stay on brand – but James would have noticed something, right? He’s
been working crazy hours and picking up other’s shifts to make up the extra
income. Funerals are expensive. Didn’t know that before. I’m usually gone
before the body is discovered (or too young to be expected to worry about such
things) but now I know that the business of burying the dead is a lucrative one.
Maybe I
could get a degree in mortuary science. Then it wouldn’t seem odd if I smell
like death and end up covered in someone else’s fluids. That seems so cliched,
though. The undertaker who creates work for herself. The next step up (or
down?) would be taxidermy or something else involving formaldehyde but again, it
will just make it more obvious.
My initial
point is that James would have noticed if I’ve been leaving the house or
walking around so I don’t know what’s been causing the exhaustion and that’s
frustrating in and of itself.
I just want
to go to bed and sleep for a hundred years. We’ll see how this week goes.
Sincerely,
Casey
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