Wednesday 28 July 2021

Your Midweek Update for 07/28/21

I am so glad I never got the kids a dog when they asked. When Sandra and Jason first came to live with me and they were being, well, moody teenagers whose mother had just been arrested, they asked if they could finally get a dog. They’d asked their mother (and myself whenever I looked after them) for a pet for years but it just wasn’t a viable option for a criminal family. The kids didn’t understand that and I don’t think they fully forgave their mother – who was always absent to begin with – for never giving in to their one request. So, naturally, when they came to live with me full time, they once again started asking for a pet to keep them company. My excuse – which was, admittedly, very true – was that suddenly paying for two teenagers was enough of a shock to my bank account and schedule that adding another being would be too much to handle. The other part, that I never told them, was that having a dog around the house was just not safe for me. Coming and going at all hours, the scent of blood that takes a few washes to fully get out of clothes, the basic care and cleanup that requires a set schedule to be kept; it just wouldn’t work.

Of course, having a guard dog would be nice. Someone to protect the home while James and I were away. But that’s what Sandra and Jason were for. Then they grew up and were allowed to leave the house unsupervised and all of that went out the window. But it still wasn’t worth it to get a dog.

Now, with me, James and Casey living our rather hectic schedule, I’m so glad we don’t have anyone or anything waiting for us to come home. Our lives are stressful enough.

Perhaps the kids missed out on some sort of seminal childhood experience – although I never had a dog and I turned out just fine – but I have to think that Rover wouldn’t have been able to change their fates. Nothing I did would have changed it, either.

I keep having to remind myself of that: I can’t change the past. Regret won’t bring Sandra back or make Jason trust me again. What I did can’t be undone.

I can’t keep living in the past.

As always, dear readers,

Stay Safe

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