Your Mid-Week Update for 01/20/21

I received an anonymous message from a reader who informed me that human combustion (spontaneous or otherwise) is not possible. Which is, of course, very disappointing. I do thank you, dear readers, for crushing my dreams because at least now I know the truth.

And now that I know my desired outcome is no longer available, I am more than willing to experiment to discover just what sort of monstrosities I can discover. That’s the wonderful thing about losing, isn’t it: once there is no destination to your journey, you can go wherever you like.

When the fuck did I get so optimistic?

I don’t like it.

Instead of aiming towards non-spontaneous human combustion, I am going to take this time to see just what I can do to a human body. I want to discover just how much pain a person can withstand. Knowing they’re going to die will definitely help (there’s no deadlines here, only trial and error).

I’ve been thinking about renting out a space exclusively for these tests. I would do them in the basement but that might be a lot of comings and goings for the neighbours to observe. And neighbours love to observe, don’t they? Why is that?

What is with this nosy stereotype? Obviously, it’s a stereotype for a reason but why are people so obsessed with knowing everyone else’s business? I’ve never had the most stellar relationship with my neighbours. It was necessary to get them to trust me but like me so much that they took an interest in my life. And you all know how likeable I am.

The alternative to drawing the attention of potentially nosy neighbours is renting out a storage unit or apartment where I can have some anonymity and privacy to conduct these experiments and store bodies for long periods of time.

Obviously, you should all be familiar with the stages of death by now: Pallor mortis, Algor mortis, Rigor mortis, Livor mortis, and Putrefaction (yes, I wikipedia’d the correct medical terms, sue me). But what does that look like in different parts of the body, or when different body parts are detached from others and kept in different environments? Would an eyeball in the sun decompose faster than a liver in a steam shower?

Could I talk to a forensic scientist to satisfy my curiosity without turning some random warehouse into a crime scene? Of course.

But it’s not as fun.

And if you’re not going to be doing something for fun in 2021, then what the hell are you doing it for?

Money. Probably money.

As always, dear readers,

Stay Safe