Wednesday 4 January 2017

Your Mid-Week Update for 01/04/2017

Happy New Year, dear readers. I hope you had a good holiday. I spent the last four days violently ill at home so I barely got to enjoy the new year or the time off my boss so generously gave me. I’m not even sure who I should be blaming but I killed a teenage babysitter as she passed by the house. The neighbours have two kids and we’ve known Cassandra for several years now.

Well, we knew Cassandra…

I blame the children. It’s probably Lydia; she emailed the office the other day to tell us she had a sick child at home but she’d still be coming in to work because she’s “dedicated to our work”.

Yes, I still check work emails while I’m on vacation. Yes, Lydia is an idiot. Let’s move on.

I was sick and couldn’t enjoy the new year which also meant that when Andrew came calling on Monday afternoon, I didn’t hear the doorbell and Jason answered it. I walked in to the kitchen to see Jason storming out the backdoor. I asked, in my own way, what happened ad Andrew told me that it was “family business”.

So I punched him.

With a knife.


I snapped. I hadn’t slept in two days, and I was sick and feverish. I wasn’t in a good mental state.

Long story short, Andrew’s in the basement.

James has been mildly supportive. He’s partially concerned with my health, thinks it’s hysterical, but mostly is frustrated with Andrew for putting us in this situation. I’m inclined to agree with my husband. It’s Andrew’s fault that he’s tied up in our basement.

Since the incident, Jason has been quiet. He says he doesn’t want to tell me what Andrew said because he doesn’t want me to worry.

Which of course made me worry even more. Does that kid not know me at all?

I assume the only way to get the information is to ask Andrew in my own way. Don’t worry, he won’t die, yet.

I’m just glad my son is afraid of laundry or things would get very awkward.

I wonder if James and I should invest in some sort of victim storage room. Near the house but not in the house, for obvious reasons. The amount of bleach that I’ve used on that basement floor is going to damage the property value.

The trials of contemporary murder.

In any case, Jason is upset and I’m upset that Andrew hurt my son so someone is going pay.

I wonder how long it’ll take the Johnson’s to find a new babysitter?

As always, dear readers,

Stay Safe

1 comment:

  1. Andrew should have just stayed out the way. Bleach carefully my dear.