Wednesday 19 October 2016

Your Mid-Week Update for 10/19/16

My god, it’s so cold in my office.

I came in early to get some work done and I’m already freezing to death. My fingertips are blue. I hate this time of year. It’s so cold in the morning but it’s too warm in the afternoon. And the pumpkin spice – sweet Jesus it’s everywhere. Plus the heater in my office smells weird; I swear it's going to explode any day now. This is no way to live.

So I kill.

My alter ego’s body count is up to four so far and I’ve officially been dubbed a serial killer by the press. I made it really easy and gave them a pun no one could resist. For my last two victims, I took their hand and left them on church steps around the city.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you:

The Hand of God Killer.

So cheesy, I know; but I didn’t come up with it. Apparently some officer was joking around at the scene of the fourth crime and the press ran with it.

If I find out that James had a hand in naming me…

Any hand-related wordplay is just lost on me now. My lovely husband and I have been using every phrase in the book. I can’t believe there’s another week and a half of this. Maybe I’ll keep it going every once in a while to keep the story fresh but I’m definitely over the whole pun thing. It’s getting a bit heavy-handed.

Okay, okay, I’ll stop. I admit this is getting out of hand.

Oh come on, you’ve got to hand it to me, these ones practically write themselves.

I’m done, I promise.

I’m just so bored and apparently I have no concentration this morning. I don’t want to be at work today and I’m so fucking cold. What else is there to say? Maybe I’ll snap someone’s neck during my lunch break; the adrenaline rush always perks me right up. It’ll be so easy to find some unsuspecting victim on the street that time of day. I have to admit, it is so handy working near the downtown area.

Alright I’m done.

Back to work, I suppose.

Is it lunch time yet?

As always, dear readers,

Stay Safe

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