Wednesday, 13 October 2021

Your Midweek Update for 10/13/21

 It's off, it's off, thank fucking christ it's finally off!

That's all I've been able to think about for days (in case you hadn't noticed). I just want my freedom back. I've been injured a few times over the years and every time, I am absolutely miserable because I just need my fucking freedom. 

I hate feeling helpless and these weeks when I'm in a cast and immobile and the pain meds have me so lethargic I fall into a depression, it's feels pretty helpless. 

Thank god for my husband or I wouldn't have been killing either. Six weeks without murder, can you imagine? I think even when I was going through rehab, I was only out of commission for four weeks at the most. Maybe I'm misremembering my time in a mental institution overcoming my addiction and psychosis related to murder. 

Either way, I have been clawing the fucking walls off, waiting for the all-clear from the doctor and now it's finally here.

Well... sort of.

The cast is off, which means I'm able to move around more independently, but I still have a few weeks of physiotherapy so I can rebuild the muscle. So I'm back! ... but it's a soft back. Which is okay because I have spent six weeks having my husband basically bring me drive-thru murders and I am so ready dine out again. Even if it's just sitting inside the McDonalds instead of in our car in the parking lot.

This metaphor has gotten away from me a bit. 

The point is: my cast is off and I'm happy about it. Is it the answer to all of my problems? No. Is it enough for now? Abso-fucking-lutely.

Am I swearing too much today? I'm going to blame Linda in HR. She swears like a fucking trucker and it's definitely rubbing off on me.

...

As is her filthy sense of humor.

As always, dear readers,

Stay Safe

Monday, 11 October 2021

Excerpt of The Fortuna Coin by Karen Ann Hopkins

I am thrilled to be hosting a spot on the THE FORTUNA COIN by Karen Ann Hopkins Blog Tour hosted by Rockstar Book Tours. Check out my post and make sure to enter the giveaway!

Wednesday, 6 October 2021

Your Midweek Update for 10/06/21

Sometimes it’s hard to write. That should seem obvious but this platform is for me to talk about my experiences so I’ll share them here. Sometimes I wake up in the morning and I just don’t want to write. Sometimes I don’t want to do anything at all. Sometimes it feels like there’s so much going on in my head that I’m weighed down by it. And I’m just… I’m so tired.

These last few days have been really hard. Not for any particular reason. I’m just tired. But I can’t rest because it’s fucking Wednesday and the days are moving so slowly and yet, I have no idea where the time’s gone.

I hate these pain meds, by the way. If I haven’t said twelve thousand times already. I feel like shit all the time. But I also can’t feel the bones in my knee fusing back together so I guess there’s that.

Fuck.

Words are really fucking hard right now and so much of my life is just words. That’s all we are: just stories and other people’s words and trying to put words to our feelings and experiences. But sometimes there are no words and you’re just stuck as this concept of a person with no control over your own existence. You’re just going through the motions without any realization of who and what you are. You’re completely powerless. All because you’re too tired to find the words. So then what are you if you have no words?

God, I hate these fucking pain meds.

As always, dear readers,

Stay Safe 

Wednesday, 29 September 2021

Your Midweek Update for 09/29/21

I’ve been thinking a lot about dismemberment lately.

There are so many ways to go about it, so many places to start, but in the end, you’re just peeling cheesy bread apart. Warm, gooey, cheesy bread. The kind from commercials that stretches forever and you can see the steam rising through the little bubbles of stringy, delicious cheese.

Mmm…cheesy bread.

There is no restaurant open right now that can deliver to me some cheesy bread and that is a fucking travesty.

Anyways. Back to dismemberment.

There’s an old Greek myth about a serial killer who would bend two trees together, tie a person to both, then let the trees loose. The body would go flying apart and be ripped in half.

I know it’s not entirely realistic but can’t you just see it? Can’t you just picture a man’s torso stretching and peeling and tearing apart? I bet you could hear the screams for miles.

Now, there have been reports more recent than ANCIENT GREECE that describe a group of men catapulting a body apart so there is some precedent for it but I would love to be able to put it into practice. And besides, it’s for science. I’ve been hearing all these whispers about scientists performing dangerous experiments in order to create vaccines, and how it’s unethical – as though most things we know about modern medicine didn’t come from Nazi doctors and prison experiments.

Science and innovation are fucking messy. Why is this news?

That being said, there are some people who may be curious about what happens to a person when they are… drawn and halved (rather than drawn and quartered) and while scientists are all about the “dangerous experiments” this may be a step too far for them. Luckily, I’m around and it’s not too far for me.

What I’m struggling with is the set up. I don’t know what kind of trees they’ve got growing in the ancient world but the trees in my neighbourhood are fucking hard to bend. This weekend, James and I are going to rent a truck and we’re going to try hauling it back with a rope or chain (you know we’ve got both) to see if that’ll give us the bend we’re looking for.

Finding the victim won’t be difficult, but we have to keep everything locked in place while we tie them to the two trees and I feel like so many things could go wrong. Of course, most of those things will still result in the man’s death, but it won’t give us the desired result. The murder is inevitable. I’m focused on the “how”.

See: I’m a scientist.

Can you imagine if I tried to publish my findings in a scientific journal?

That’s not a horrible idea, actually. Most serial killers write to the police or to the press because they want attention. I want to learn – and I want others to learn. The place for that is in a scientific journal.

Huh.

I’ll think about it.

In the meantime, I’m off to find the strongest chain in our collection.

As always, dear readers,

Stay Safe

Wednesday, 22 September 2021

Your Midweek Update for 09/22/21

Still stuck at home. Still loopy. Still having my kills delivered to me in the back of someone’s car. Which, for a treat, isn’t a bad way of going about it but not when it’s your only option. You know I hate be reliant on others. Despite the age of technology making everything accessible at my fingertips – including victims – there are some things you just need to do for yourself. Besides, a decade ago, it might have been easy enough to kill a delivery driver but not now. Those poor drivers are so closely monitored, their bosses would probably know the minute their heart stopped beating so they could stop paying them.

Yes, I work for a bank, that does not mean I am not in favour of eating the rich and destroying our late-stage capitalist society. The thing that pays my bills is not the thing that brings me joy in life. I keep those thoroughly separated.

Although I’m barely doing the thing that brings me joy anymore.

Oh sure, James has brought home a few victims on his way home from work. There was a young woman, maybe nineteen, who was walking home from work when a police officer pulled over and offered to drive her home. Of course, she said ‘no’ because she’s understandably distrustful of the police as an organization. However, my husband is very persuasive (and very charming) so I had a lovely present waiting for me in the basement when I got home from physio therapy on Thursday night.

Some men bring their wives flowers…

This woman was such a little screamer, let me tell you. Well, I am. Telling you. What an odd phrase. You say ‘let me tell you’ but the fact that you’re saying it implies that they were already being told. English is such a garbage language.

Anyways, she was in the basement, screaming her lungs out, so naturally those organs were the first to go. Her death was an experiment in memorization and anatomy. For one, the doctor told me to be aware of any side effects of the pain medication which can include memory loss or loss of time so tracking everything is incredibly important. I played a game with that woman’s body where I sliced her open like a zipper, and then I removed her organs one by one and remembered the order in which to put them back.

The lungs are such a strange organ. Before I started killing, I always assumed they were below the chest plate – despite the boys in my tenth-grade class talking about how Frankie Marlowe had a healthy set of lungs. I also imagined them to be a solid object, independently hanging in the ribcage, with muscles of its own to expand and contract.

The lungs are more like… you know those sticky hand toys that you throw at a wall and it sticks for a second and then it slowly rolls to the ground? The lungs are more like that. They’re a bag, sure, a space that can fill with air and circulate oxygen, but there are no ‘lung muscles’ per se. They’re connected to muscles that connect to the rib cage and the lung is more like a wet paper beg clinging to the nearest object that happens to be pumping in and out.

I don’t know why I went off on a tangent in anatomy but there’s your free lesson for the day.

The actually point I was trying to make is that my husband brought me an adorable little screamer, and I made a beautiful mess of her organs – and of the downstairs basement. We would have taken her to the storage unit but I was honestly too sore to move that much after physio. I know the road to recovery is long and winding and all that shit but I would like to be healed now, thank you very much.

As much fun as I had with Lung Girl, I would like to get back to my normal life.

Two more weeks.

Two more weeks.

Please, god, let it only be two more weeks.

As always, dear readers,

Stay Safe

Tuesday, 21 September 2021

Book Tour for Chasing Alys by Morgana Bevan

I am thrilled to be hosting a spot on the CHASING ALYS by Morgana Bevan Blog Tour hosted by Rockstar Book Tours. Check out my post and make sure to enter the giveaway!

 

Monday, 20 September 2021

Blog Tour for Remnants of Blood by H. F. Cunningham

I am thrilled to be hosting a spot on the REMNANTS OF BLOOD by H. F. Cunningham Blog Tour hosted by Rockstar Book Tours. Check out my post and make sure to enter the giveaway!

 

Wednesday, 15 September 2021

Your Midweek Update for 09/15/21

You know what I love so much? Year-End reporting.

You know what I’m lying through my teeth about loving?

Fucking Year-End reporting.

Who decided that the fiscal year ended in September? For that matter, who decided that the calendar year ended in December? Who decided there would be 12 months in a year? Who decided how we would measure time? What even is time? Why does any of this matter?

So I’ve taken my pain meds and I am slightly calmer. Bad news is: I am now exhausted out of my mind. Honestly, though, I feel like this week has flown by – and not in a good way. I have no idea what’s happened between last week and this week. That’s

I’ve completely lost my train of thought.

I hate this feeling.

I’m physically helpless because of a stupid accident. Not being able to go out for kills has been hard enough. On Saturday night, James brought me home a victim tied in the trunk of his car. It was very sweet – and I did enjoy slicing her from navel to chin and watching her guts slowly spill open like a baked potato – but it didn’t have the same thrill I’m used to. Being able to catch my own prey, as it were, is an essential part of my life. And besides, I can’t have my husband bringing me home some poor victim every night. It’s like junk food: it’s only a treat if it happens infrequently. I love when James picks out victims. It’s incredibly erotic and it brings us closer together as a couple. This just felt cheap.

But at least I can still kill this way.

It’s the pain meds. They make me lethargic and I have trouble focusing and yet I can’t quite get to sleep because my body is restless. I have not been enjoying my time, let me tell you. Without the medication, I can’t put any weight on my knees. Any stretch or compression that tugs my kneecaps out of alignment has me seeing stars. It’s unbearable.

It feels like there’s no real winning, here, and that is probably the worst part: there’s no good answer. There’s no work around or solution that will keep me happy. I just feel…trapped.

I know this wasn’t the happiest update, I apologize, dear readers. I’ll try to have something more entertaining for next week.

As always, dear readers,

Stay Safe

Tuesday, 14 September 2021

Except of Wicked Darkness by B.L. Callaghan

I am thrilled to be hosting a spot on the WICKED DARKNESS by B.L. Callaghan Blog Tour hosted by Rockstar Book Tours. Check out my post and make sure to enter the giveaway!

Thursday, 9 September 2021

Blog Tour of Spirit Fire by Susan McCauley

I am thrilled to be hosting a spot on the SPIRIT FIRE by Susan McCauley Blog Tour hosted by Rockstar Book Tours. Check out my post and make sure to enter the giveaway!

About the Book

Title: SPIRIT FIRE (Ghost Hunters #3)

Author: Susan McCauley

Pub. Date: September 28, 2021

Publisher: Celtic Sea Publishing

Formats: Hardcover, Paperback, eBook

Find it: GoodreadsAmazon, Kindle, B&N, TBD, Bookshop.org

Kindle Unlimited members will be able to read this for FREE!

Who—or what—is causing the fires in the French Quarter? A little girl? A long-dead prisoner? An evil presence calling to those beyond the grave?

In this spooky, fast-paced adventure, twelve-year-old Alex must fight smoke, flames, and ghostly prisoners to stop whatever’s causing the blazes—before more lives are lost.

Haven’t started the series yet? Grab books 1 & 2, BONES IN THE WALL & PIRATE’S CURSE for FREE with a KU subscription! Or get the audiobook for book 1 for FREE on Audible!

BONES IN THE WALL: Kindle, Audible

PIRATE’S CURSE: Kindle