I love
Murder. And I love that we live in such a fucked up society that there are
hundreds and thousands of people who love murder, too. Differently, but love
it. Love talking about it, love researching it, love writing about it. I have an
endless source of inspiration and an easy coverup for my Google search history.
Bless My
Favourite Murder for being my emotional outlet as I abstain from killing. Oh, I’ve
been maiming all week but I have decided to give this kill to Casey. The man in
the basement will be her first under my tutelage. It’s fitting, I think.
James was
able to walk down to the basement to see him yesterday. He’s on crutches and he’s
in a lot of pain. But he got in some good blows with one of the crutches so he
seems to be handling it all very well.
God, I’m so
tired.
I haven’t
been sleeping well. Between taking care of James and, finding extra temporary
work, and the man in the basement screaming at all hours of the night, it’s been
hard to get a full night’s sleep. We’ve stuck rags in his mouth and taped it
shut but we can still hear him sometimes. I wonder if there’s a way to remove
his vocal chords but not his windpipe. Wouldn’t want him to stop breathing. I
just don’t want him to make a sound anymore.
And I can
research that because there are people in this world who love to Google
disturbing shit and it’s okay because I listen to podcasts where people talk
about the same disturbing shit. I’m sure some killer has torn out internal organs
but kept their victim alive. If not, I’m sure someone has posed the “hypothetical”
question.
I say “hypothetical”
in quotations because there was a time in my career as a serial killer when I would
go through Reddit and find those hypothetical murder thought experiments and
test them out to see if they would work. Some of them were pretty clever. The
one I did with the needle in the eye and plucked out their eyeballs? Got it on
the internet.
Crowd
sourcing my murder ideas was genius.
I haven’t
actually decided if I’m ready for the man in the basement to die but when I am,
James knows that Casey will be the one swinging the axes.
Oh, now
there’s an idea. We could chop him up. Slowly feed him to neighbourhood dogs
and the like. That might be fun. But as this is a family affair, I’ll discuss
it with the others to see what they think is the right way for him to die.
I asked James
if he was angry at him for the shooting. If he wanted revenge – because if he
wanted it, I would give it to him without question. He said he is angry but he
always said ‘to be alive to see his family take their vengeance is more than
satisfying’. So Casey will have her first kill under my watchful eye. When I
decide we’re ready to let go of experimenting on him.
I have to admit,
it has been fun to play with him. To see all the different ways I can hurt him.
Keep him begging for death but never deliver it. Now that is revenge.
As always,
dear readers,